


National Salad Month

by PetrichorPerfume



Series: Shenanigans [35]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cooking Lessons, It's called Sam's Kitchen, Lucifer isn't impressed, M/M, Multi, Sam has a cooking show, Sam loves salad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-31
Updated: 2014-07-31
Packaged: 2018-02-11 06:12:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 296
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2056851
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PetrichorPerfume/pseuds/PetrichorPerfume
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lucifer writes How To articles. It's only fair that Sam gets a cooking show, right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	National Salad Month

Welcome to Sam’s Kitchen! ;)

 

In honor of National Salad Month, we’re going to be making – you guessed it – salad!

 

Today we’re going to be cooking for a family of seven!

 

Ingredients:

 

  *       Romaine Lettuce (5 pounds)
  *       Cheese (1 pound) – use a variety of cheeses such as Parmesan, feta, Gorgonzola, and cheddar!
  *       5 tomatoes
  *       ½ pound of bacon
  *       10 carrots
  *       5 cucumbers
  *       Spinach (2 pounds)
  *       Diced chicken or turkey (1 pound)
  *       1 onion
  *       ½ pound croutons
  *       ¼ mushrooms
  *       4 red bell peppers
  *       4 green bell peppers
  *       3 avocados
  *       ½ pound red olives
  *       ¼ pound green olives
  *       ½ pound nuts – again, use a variety!
  *       ½ pound sunflower seeds
  *       2 apples
  *       ½ pound grilled steak
  *       1 jar of artichoke hearts
  *       3-5 radishes
  *       2 pounds of kale



 

Because we’re cooking for such a large family, it’s a good idea to have a variety of dressings available to suit everyone’s ~~asinine~~ _varied_ tastes.

 

Dressing ideas:

 

  *       Classic Balsamic
  *       Ranch
  *       Italian
  *       French
  *       Russian
  *       Blue Cheese
  *       Thousand Island



 

Pro Tips:

 

  1.      It’s always a good idea to inform the Head of Household of your intents so they can enforce your month-long salad holiday. (Thank... Would it be inappropriate or strangely fitting to thank God for Michael?)
  2.      If you have a stupid lover who only wants to eat candy, remember that bribery exists for a reason.
  3.      If you have a stupid brother who refuses to eat anything but trans fats, disguise the green under a healthy dose of bacon dressing.
  4.      If your stupid brother has an equally stupid lover, promise to let him watch you have sex later on.



 

 

That’s it for today’s edition of Sam’s Kitchen. Remember to eat healthy, everyone!

 

***

 

“So basically it’s a bowl of a little lettuce and a lot of everything else that you’re calling ‘salad’?” Lucifer asks as he pokes the rainbow of foods on his plate.

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“...”

 

“Shut up.”

 


End file.
